I Don't Keep A Dog

[on Being Told Mary, Queen Of Scots, Was Taller Than She:] Then She Is Too High, For I Myself Am Neither Too High Nor Too Low.

Princes Have Big Ears Which Hear Far And Near.

I Observe And Remain Silent.

Although I May Not Be A Lioness, I Am A Lion's Cub, And Inherit Many Of His Qualities; And As Long As The King Of France Treats Me Gently He Will Find Me As Gentle And Tractable As He Can Desire; But If He Be Rough, I Shall Take The Trouble To Be Just As Troublesome And Offensive To Him As I Can.

[to Edward De Vere, Earl Of Oxford, On His Return From Self-imposed Exile, Occasioned By The Embarrassing Flatulence He Had Experienced In The Presence Of The Queen:] My Lord, I Had Forgot The Fart.