I Don't Like To Have

Actually, I Used To Be A Busboy In A Strip Joint In New York And So I Hate Strip Joints. I'm Not That Kind Of Person.

I'm Not Cynical When It Comes To Things That Are Important. I'm Cynical About Pop Culture And All That Horseshit.

I'm Writing A Book About Siamese Twins That Are Attached At The Nose. It's Called: Stop Staring At Me!

Fat Jokes To Me Are Always, Always Hilarious, As Long As They're Done Towards Yourself.

I Try To Write Three Jokes Every Day. I Don't Sit Down And Write Them, It's Just Things That Pop Into My Head. Then I'll Go Watch It Fail Onstage That Night.