I Don't Want To Die

If I Speak Spanish In My Show, Which Sometimes I Do, I Translate What I Say. I Make It Where I Can Still Be Myself, But I Make It To Where Everybody Knows What The Hell Is Going On And When Everyone Leaves, They're Like "ok, I Get It."

I Want To Get So Famous That I Don't Have To Wake Up In The Morning. It'll Probably Never Happen.

Anything Is Possible As Long As You're Focused, Determined And You Really Want To Do It.

I Went Up On Stage, And Said, "why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? To Check Out The Chicks." I Was A Genius At 10. Try Telling That At 21, And You Look Hacky And Stupid. That Was The Only Joke I've Ever Told. Everything Since Has Been Character Voices, Doing Impressions Or Just Telling Stories.

I Got Off The Plane - I Was Walking And Cooking At The Same Time.