I Don't Worry About Terrorism.

The Russians Haven't Been To The Moon. You Know Why? Because They're Space Pussies... You Really Want To Impress Us? Bring Us Back Our Flag!

There's No Happy Ending To Cocaine. You Either Die, You Go To Jail, Or Else You Run Out.

I Want To Show People That There's A Side Of Myself Other Than Just The Outrageous Comedian.

Aids Is A Horrible Disease, And The People Who Catch It Deserve Compassion.

With Any Other Celebrity, People Come Up And Say, 'hey, I Really Like Your Work.' But With My Fans, When They See Me, They Don't Even Say Hello. They Just Go, 'awwwwwghghhhghghrrr!'