I Don't Like To Cook.

I Became A Stand-up Comedienne Because I Had A Sit-down Husband.

Never Go To Bed Mad. Stay Up And Fight.

Oh, That Dog! Ever Hear Of A German Shepherd That Bites Its Nails? Barks With A Lisp? You Say, "attack!" And He Has One. All He Does Is Piddle. He's Nothing But A Fur-covered Kidney That Barks.

I'm Beginning To Have Morning Sickness. I'm Not Having A Baby, I'm Just Sick Of Morning.

I Was In A Beauty Contest Once. I Not Only Came In Last, I Was Hit In The Mouth By Miss Congeniality.