I Don't Want To Scare

Maria Shriver Is Credited With Helping Arnold Win By Standing By Him Despite Allegations Of Groping. She Had To Stand By Him Cause Arnold Had A Vice Grip On Her Left Ass Cheek.

Today Homeland Security Chief Tom Ridge Lowered The Terror Alert From Orange To Yellow. Does Anybody Need 16 Miles Of Duct Tape?

Ironically, The Possibility That The President Dodged His Military Service Has Increased His Approval Ratings With Democrats By 80 Percent.

Critics Say Arnold Has No Previous Government Experience, But Advisers Say He's Clearly The Most Qualified Austrian, Ex-mr. Universe In The Race.

As Fighting In Iraq Intensifies, President Bush Delivered His Supplemental War Budget To Congress. The Money Will Cover 30 Days Of Fighting, Then We'll Be Sent One War Every Other Month Until We Cancel Our Subscription.