I Find Human Contact Repulsive.

Switzerland Is A Place Where They Don't Like To Fight, So They Get People To Do Their Fighting For Them While They Ski And Eat Chocolate.

I Have No Sense Of Well-being. There's No Chance The Well Will Run Dry.

I'd Much Rather Be On Stage Talking To A Couple Of Retards For Twenty Bucks Than Sitting At My Desk Thinking Up Jokes For...well Let's Say A Few Dollars More.

I Don't Write Shows With Dialogue Where Actors Have To Memorize Dialogue. I Write The Scenes Where We Know Everything That's Going To Happen. There's An Outline Of About Seven Or Eight Pages, And Then We Improvise It.

It's Always Good To Take Something That's Happened In Your Life And Make Something Of It Comedically.