I Get Recognized, But I'm

I Have An Imagination Because My Life Is So Boring That My Imagination Lets Me Get Off The Reality Of What's Going On.

This One Guy, The Worst Guy In The Music. The Yanni Man. You Know Yanni? First Of All, Anyone Who Looks Like A Magician And Doesn't Do Magic, I Don't Like. I Don't Even Like Magic, I Hate It. But I Love The Word, "ta-da"! I Love That Word! I Don't Get To Say It, Right? I Never Do Any Magic. You Just Can't Go Around Walking, "ta-da!" "ta-da!" "ta-da!" The Only Time I Can Say It Is When I Do Something Really Stupid Or Surprising. Like If I Go Out All Night Drinking And Hitting Strip Clubs And I Come Home And I Still Got Some Money... "ta-da!" I Thought I Was Broke. Why Does My Jaw Hurt?

Everything You Do, Burns Calories. Getting Up In The Morning, 100 Calories; Kicking The Hooker Out Of Your Bed, Another 100; Diapering Your Monkey, 35 Calories; Laughing At A Midget, Fun And 10 Calories; Catching Your Girlfriend With Another Guy, 2000-3000 Calories, Depending On Backswings.

Being On The Road Is Kind Of Lonely.

I'm Sitting In The Bus Station, Minding My Own Business, Reading 'ta-da!' Magazine; A Magazine By And For Gay Magicians, But That's A Different Story.