I Got A King-sized Bed.

I Hate Flossing, I Wish I Just Had One Long Curvy Tooth. They Didn't Have To Make Separations For Me.

I Tried To Walk Into Target, But I Missed. I Think The Entrance To Target Should Have People Splattered All Around.

My Friend Asked Me If I Wanted A Frozen Banana. I Said 'no, But I Want A Regular Banana Later, So... Yeah.'

I Got A Smoke Alarm At Home, But Really It's More Like A 9-volt-battery-slowly-drainer.

The Commercial For Diet Dr. Pepper Says It Tastes Just Like Regular Dr. Pepper. Well, Then They Screwed Up!