I Got A King-sized Bed.

That Would Be Cool If The Earth's Crust Was Made Out Of Graham Cracker. It Would Disappear Just Like The Ozone Layer, But For Completely Different Reasons.

I Have No Problem Not Listening To The Temptations.

I Don't Get The Regular Aids Test Anymore. I Get The Roundabout Aids Test. I Ask My Friend Brian, "do You Know Anybody Who Has Aids?". He Says, "no". I Say, "cool, Because You Know Me."

Has Anyone Seen Me On Letterman? Two Million People Watch That Show And I Don't Know Where They Are. You Might Have Seen This Next Comedian On The Late Show, But I Think More People Have Seen Me At The Store. That Should Be My Introduction. "you Might Have Seen This Next Comedian At The Store," And People Would Say "hell Yes I Have!"

I'd Hate To Be A Giraffe With A Sore Throat.