I Got A Smoke Alarm

I Used To Do Drugs. I Still Do Drugs. But I Used To, Too.

I’d Like To See A Forklift Lift A Crate Of Forks. It’d Be So Damn Literal! You Are Using That Machine To It’s Exact Purpose!

I Hate Flossing, I Wish I Just Had One Long Curvy Tooth. They Didn't Have To Make Separations For Me.

People Teach Their Dogs To Sit; It's A Trick. I've Been Sitting My Whole Life, And A Dog Has Never Looked At Me As Though He Thought I Was Tricky.

I Miss The $2 Bill, 'cause I Can Break A Two. $20, No. $10, No. $5, Maybe, $2? Oh Yeah. What Do You Need, A One And Another One?