I Got Into New College,

How Come There's Only One Monopolies Commission?

I Was Absolutely A Non-starter At Games. My Report For Rugby Said, 'nigel's Chief Contribution Is His Presence On The Field.' I Used To Pray For Rain And Sometimes It Did Rain - And We Played Anyway.

My Toils In The Quotation Field Have Led Me To Formulate Two Or Three Laws About The Way People Use And Abuse Quotations. My First Law Is: When In Doubt, Ascribe All Quotations To Bernard Shaw - Which I Don't Mean To Be Taken Literally, But As A General Observation Of The Habit People Have Of Attaching Remarks To The Nearest Obvious Speaker. Churchill, Wilde, Orson Welles And Alexander Woollcott Are Other Useful Figures Upon Whom To Father Remarks When You Don't Know Who Really Said Them.

Democracy Is Too Good To Share With Just Anybody.

People Will Say What They Want To Say, In The Way They Want To.