I Guess You Heard, Hillary

John Kerry Said Today He Wants To Debate President Bush Once A Month. Hey Good Luck, If Bush Couldn't Make It To The National Guard Once A Month, He's Not Going To Show Up For This.

Britney Spears Told An Interviewer If She Weren't Famous, She Would Be A Teacher. So Thank God She's Famous.

My Favorite Halloween Candy Is The Candy Corn. It Comes In Four Colors: White, Yellow, Orange, Brown. Those Are Also The Stages Of Your Teeth Rotting After You Eat It.

Anybody Who Gives Their Car To A Valet Isn't A Car Guy

I Was Born The Day I Got My License. When I Was A Kid, If I Wanted To Go Somewhere And See Things, You Have To Get In Your Car And Actually Go.