I Had An Iphone And

Behind Me, I Heard A Young Woman Of 25 Say, "if It Weren’t For My Horse, I Wouldn’t Have Spent That Year In College." Now, I'm Gonna Repeat That, Because It Bears Repeating. "if It Weren't For My Horse..." As In, Giddyup, Giddyup, Let's Go — "i Wouldn't Have Spent That Year In College," Which Is A Degree-granting Institution. Don't Think About That Too Long, Or Blood Will Shoot Out Your Nose!

Donald Trump Came Out As A Birther, Which Is Republican For, 'i'm Running For President.'

Mother Teresa Had A Mustache. Hitler Had A Mustache. Mother Teresa Is Hitler.

The Republicans Are The Party Of Bad Ideas. The Democrats Are The Party Of No Ideas.

All The Candy Corn That Was Ever Made Was Made In 1911.