I Hate Thin People; 'oh,

Because I'm The Only Performer Who Comes Out And Says I've Had Plastic Surgery, I've Become The Plastic Surgery Poster Girl, Which Is Hilarious, Because Everybody Has Done It And They All Deny It. They Stand There, Like The Bride Of Frankenstein, They've All Got Stitches, And They All Say, 'i've Done Nothing.' I Talk About It.

Oprah Winfrey Is So Powerful That She Had The Rapture Postponed Until After Her Final Show Airs.

Life Is Hard. And We Better Laugh At Everything, Otherwise We're Going Down The Tube.

Whatever You Do To Recover From A Loss, People Will Be Critical Because They Believe That The Only Way To Recover Is Their Way. And You Will Even Run Into Some People Who Should Be Run Into By Rhinos Because They Actually Don't Want To See You Get Over Your Tragedy At All; Grief Is A Spectator Sport For Them.

I Think I've Lost 3lbs - I'm Very, Very Happy. I Thought Of It As Work And A Spa.