I Hate To Say It,

Nothing In Fine Print Is Ever Good News.

I Try To Look Nice. I Comb My Hair, I Tie My Tie, I Put On A Jacket, But I Draw The Line When It Comes To Trimming My Eyebrows. You Work With What You Got.

By The Time They're Ready To Be Thrown Away, Most Shoes Are Thoroughly Comfortable

There's Nothing People Like Better Than Being Asked An Easy Question. For Some Reason, We're Flattered When A Stranger Asks Us Where Maple Street Is In Our Hometown And We Can Tell Him.

It's Ridiculous For A Country To Get All Worked Up About A Game—except The Super Bowl, Of Course. Now That's Important.