I Have Jokes I've Told

When We Live Up To Our Constitution, Let's Form A Conga Line Around The Capitol And Bungee Jump Off The Dome.

I'm Thankful For The Three Ounce Ziploc Bag, So That I Have Somewhere To Put My Savings.

President Obama Could Keep A Big Map With Push Pins On It To Keep Track Of How Many Countries Hate Us, And When We Get Down To Only Half, Let's Have A Ball. I'll Blow Up The Balloons Myself.

I Was One Of The First People To Almost Actually Vomit Over Hearing The Use Of The Phrase "family Values" And I Pride Myself On Never Having Fallen For The Idea That Barbara Bush Was Sweet And Grandmotherly. I Met Barbara Bush And, As I Expected, She Was A Tank With Eyes, Not A Nice Person At All And Why Should That Blow Anybody Away?

I Don't Have A Bank Account Because I Don't Know My Mother's Maiden Name And Apparently That's The Key To The Whole Thing Right There. I Go In Every Few Weeks And Guess.