I Have Jokes I've Told

My Parents Got Carried Away With The Letter P When They Were Naming The Kids In Our Family. There's Me, Paula, My Sisters Peggy And Patty, And My Brother Pjimmy, Spelled With A Silent P.

I'll Probably Never Have Children Because I Don't Believe In Touching People For Any Reason.

I Can Make Things, But I Don't Cook Them, Exactly. Like Salmon, I Can Stick That In A Pan. Or The Other Day I Made Noodles, But They Were Hard. It Never Occurred To Me To Check Them; I Just Stopped Cooking Them When I Felt They Were Ready. Really, I'm Too Absentminded.

My Mom Said She Learned How To Swim When Someone Took Her Out In The Lake And Threw Her Off The Boat. I Said, 'mom, They Weren't Trying To Teach You How To Swim.'

I Don't Need A Holiday Or A Feast To Feel Grateful For My Children, The Sun, The Moon, The Roof Over My Head, Music, And Laughter, But I Like To Take This Time To Take The Path Of Thanks Less Traveled.