I Have No Mouth. And

I Don't Mind You Thinking I'm Stupid, But Don't Talk To Me Like I'm Stupid.

Don't Start An Argument With Somebody Who Has A Microphone When You Don't. They'll Make You Look Like Chopped Liver.

I Usually Say I Write For The Smartest, Cleverest, Wittiest Audience I Know, And That's Me.

I Made As Many Mistakes As Anybody Else. I Sound As If I'm An Egomaniac, And I Suppose In Some Ways I'm Filled With Hubris Because I Know How Good I Am At Certain Things. But Other Things, I Can't Do At All. I Can't Draw.

I Am Responsible For Myself. I Am Exactly Who I Eventually Wanted Myself To Be, I Guess, Without Consciously Knowing What I Wanted Me To Be.