I Haven't Reached Nirvana Yet,

It Is Cold Down In Washington, Dc. They Had To Use An Ice Scraper On John Boehner's Face To Get The Tears Off, It Was So Cold.

The Cia Special Unit That Was Searching For Osama Bin Laden Has Been Disbanded. So I Guess, Mission Accomplished.

Obama Took A Tour Of The Great Wall Of China And Said, 'we Need One Of These Things Around The White House.'

Here's A Woman, A Real Pioneer For Other Women Looking For Careers In Stand-up Comedy. And Talk About Guts - She Would Come Out Here And Sit In This Chair And Say Some Things That Were Unbelievable - Where You Would Have To Swallow Pretty Hard... But It Was Hilarious... The Force Of Her Comedy Was Overpowering.

Last Night The United States Dropped Four 2,000 Pound Bombs On Saddam Hussein. I Don't Know Anything About Explosives, But, My God, Do Those Things Even Need To Explode?