I Know What You Want.

Thank You... 'real Housewives Of Atlanta,' For Demonstrating A Universal Truth: Idiots Like Me Will Always Watch Idiots Like You Fight On Tv. You Will Forever Be In My Tivo.

I Sing In The Car If I'm In La, Because You're Like Soundproofed.

Officials At The London Olympics Will Be Conducting 5,000 Tests For Steroids. Or As Lance Armstrong Calls That, 'a Monday.'

Apparently, The Obamas Chose New York City Because They've Gotten So Used To People Trying To Break Into Their House.

Rand Paul Is Taking A Week-long Break From Talking To The Media To Spend Time With His Family Before He Officially Announces That He Is Running For President. Because Nothing Motivates You To Be On The Road For Two Straight Years Like A Week Alone With Your Family.