I Like Salvador Dali And

[to Audience Members Who Were Arriving Late] You Haven't Missed A Thing, I Was Just Killing Time 'til You Got Here.

The Desire To Be A Politician Should Bar You For Life From Ever Being One.

Wisdom Isn't An Old Guy On Top Of A Mountain In A Loin Cloth. It Isn't An Answer. It's A Question.

My Advice To You, If You Want To Lose A Bit Of Weight: Don't Eat Anything That Comes In A Bucket. Buckets Are The Kitchen Utensils Of The Farmyard.

I Don't Believe In Angels, No. But I Do Have A Wee Parking Angel. It's On My Dashboard And You Wind It Up. The Wings Flap And It's Supposed To Give You A Parking Space. It's Worked So Far.