I Like To Read, But

A Couple Of Months Ago, I Gave My Girlfriend Some Fancy Lingerie, And She Actually Got Mad At Me. She Said, 'anthony, I Think This Is More Of A Gift For You Than It Is For Me.' And I Said, 'if You Want To Get Technical, It Was Originally A Gift For My Last Girlfriend.'

I Was A Terrible Employee. I've Been Fired From Almost Every Job I've Ever Had, Luckily, In A Good Way, Or Else I'd Be Stuck. I Would Always Joke Around With Everybody, And No One Enjoyed My Humor.

Dark Humor Appealed To Me Because It Was A Bigger Laugh Than You Could Get With Anything Else. Seeing People Laugh At Something Inappropriate With Their Whole Bodies, A Guttural, Visceral Laugh Beyond A Mere "hah."

I Was A Weird Kid Because I Liked To Be Alone, But I Craved Attention. It Was Important For Me To Be Cool, But I Couldn't Keep My Mouth Shut. So I Was Either Talking For The Sake Of Talking, Or I Was Curled Up With A Book Somewhere Hiding From Everyone.

I Love Austin, But Last Time I Was In Town For Twelve Hours. I Was Exhausted, Drunk And Miserable. But None Of That Was Austin's Fault.