I Like To Reserve The

During Episodes Of Unemployment I Find It Rewarding To Sleep As Much As Possible-anything From Twelve To Fourteen Hours A Day Is A Good Starting Point. Sleep Spares You Humiliation And Saves Money At The Same Time: Nothing To Eat, Nothing To Buy, Just Lie Back And Dream Your Life Away.

Say What You Will About The South, But In North Carolina A Hot Dog Is Free To Swing Anyway It Wishes.

I Hoped Our Lives Would Continue This Way Forever, But Inevitably The Past Came Knocking. Not The Good Kind That Was Collectible But The Bad Kind That Had Arthritis.

Real Love Amounts To Withholding The Truth, Even When You're Offered The Perfect Opportunity To Hurt Someone's Feelings.

High School Taught Me A Valuable Lesson About Glasses: Don't Wear Them. Contacts Have Always Seemed Like Too Much Work, So Instead I Just Squint, Figuring That If Something Is More Than Ten Feet Away, I'll Just Deal With It When I Get There.