I Love A Dog. He

I Guess There Is Nothing That Will Get Your Mind Off Everything Like Golf. I Have Never Been Depressed Enough To Take Up The Game, But They Say You Get So Sore At Yourself You Forget To Hate Your Enemies.

I Was Born Because It Was A Habit In Those Days, People Didn't Know Anything Else ... I Was Not A Child Prodigy, Because A Child Prodigy Is A Child Who Knows As Much When It Is A Child As It Does When It Grows Up.

Democrats Always Were A Cheap Lot. They Never Had Much Money To Operate On.... They Would Rather Make A Speech Than A Dollar. They Cultivate Their Voice Instead Of Their Finances.

The Problem Ain't What People Know. It's What People Know That Ain't So That's The Problem.

There Is No Credit To Being A Comedian, When You Have The Whole Government Working For You. All You Have To Do Is Report The Facts. I Dont Even Have To Exaggerate.