I'm A Self-made Man. Who

An Epigram Is Only A Wisecrack That's Played At Carnegie Hall.

My Psychiatrist Once Said To Me, 'maybe Life Isn't For Everyone'.

Talent's Like A Baby. Wrap It Up In Wool And It Goes To Sleep.

When I Can't Sleep, I Read A Book By Steve Allen.

You Can't Possibly Hear The Last Movement Of Beethoven's Seventh And Go Slow. (oscar Trying To Talk His Way Out Of A Speeding Ticket)