I'm Like John Q. Public.

I'm A Doofus From The Valley, A Blue-collar Guy.

All Tv Is, Is Really: 'don't You Want To Be This, Aren't You Glad You're Not That.' There's Nothing Really In The Middle.

Speaking Of Sleeping Bags, Has Anything Ever Had A Less Creative Name?

If You Spend Your Life Walking Through Somebody Else's Museum, You Never Find Out Whether You're Rembrandt Or Not.

You Shouldn't Be Eating Anything That Takes Six Minutes To Microwave.