I'm So Into Momminess.

I Remember I Was So Crabby In My Third Trimester - I Got Gestational Diabetes Because I'd Been Acting Like I Was In A One-woman Pie-eating Contest.

I'd Like A Pop-up Magazine With 45 Articles On Russell Crowe. I'm Like A Teenager. I'd Have 'teen Beat' If I Could, For Grown-ups.

Before We Got Engaged, He Never Farted. Now It's A Second Language.

Sitting Next To Olivia Newton-john, I Was Like, 'do Not Sing One Song From Grease.' That's All I Was Telling My Brain At All Times: 'do Not Sing Hopelessly Devoted. Don't Do It.'

My Father Can Not Finish A Sentence. When We Were Kids He Would Go, 'girls The Most Important Thing In Life To Remember Is...' 'daddy, What Is It?' 'what's What, Honey?' 'the Most Important Thing In Life To Remember.' 'oh, What's That?'