I May Be Learning Guitar,

The Real Truth About A Lot Of Life's Mysteries Can Be Explained By Science But People Don't Want To Get In Bed With Science Because It's Cold. They Prefer Religion, Myth, Drama.

I'm The One Usually Wearing The Dress, Which Is What I Would've Preferred, But They Wouldn't Let Me. It's Been 15 Years Since I Did That And My Ass Isn't As Good As It Used To Be.

If You're Smart, You'll Always Be Humble. You Can Learn All You Want, But There'll Always Be Somebody Who's Never Read A Book Who'll Know Twice What You Know.

I Don't Want To Know What Happens In Any Movie That I Go To See.

Sometimes When I'm Swimming, I Think That Maybe Someday I'll Put My Red Speedo Up For Auction. Or Maybe I'll Donate It To The Smithsonian. They Can Stuff It With Two Plums And A Gherkin And Put It On Display.