I Mean, Personally, I Would

If I Could Change Anything About Garden State, It Would Be To Cast Somebody Else For The Female Lead. Natalie Just Isn't Really That Good Of An Actress. Especially When Compared To Me. Just Watch The Two Of Us, It's Light And Dark. I Am By Far The Better Jew.

If I Had A Billion Dollars I Would...oh Wait...already Do.

Compared To My Talents, Whoopi Goldberg Is Like One Of Those Fake Plastic Buddhas You Get At Dollar Stores. I Mean Really, I Fail To See The Humor In An Overweight Negro Woman With Dreadlocks, No Eyebrows, And Is Named After A Childish Term For Flatulence.

I Love 'scrubs.' It's The Best Day Job In The World.

I Think In A Play It's Wise To Just Sit Back And Watch Other Actors And Be Able To Shape It From The Audience.