I Never Went To Camp

The Greatness Of A Man Is Only Measured By His Urologist.

You Can Talk About Things Indirectly, But If You Want To Talk How People Really Talk, You Have To Talk R-rated. I Mean I've Got Three Incredibly Intelligent Daughters, But When You Get Mad, You Get Mad And You Talk Like People Talk. When A Normal 17-year-old Girl Storms Out Of The House Or 15-year-old Boy Is Mad At His Mom Or Dad, They're Not Talking The Way People Talk On Tv. Unless It's Cable.

Think Well Of Yourself And Others Will Too. Unless Those Others Are In Government, Banking, Or Show Business.

I Am Stressed Because Once I Am Flattened Out So Thin To Be Able To Slide Under A Doorway, I May Never Be Able To Ever Be Unflattened So I Could Be Regular Sized Again.

Jon Lovitz. Jon, Your Act Is Like Masturbation: You're The Only One Who Enjoys It, And You Should Be Arrested For Doing It In Public.