I Niver Knew A Pollytician

Drink Never Made A Man Better, But It Has Made Many A Man Think He Was Better.

Most Vegetarians I Ever See Looked Enough Like Their Food To Be Classed As Cannibals.

What Is Instinct? It Is The Natural Tendency In One When Filled With Dismay To Turn To His Wife.

If Ye Live Enough Befure Thirty Ye Won't Care To Live At All Afther Fifty.

Many A Man That Couldn't Direct Ye To Th' Drug Store On Th' Corner When He Was Thirty Will Get A Respectful Hearin' When Age Has Further Impaired His Mind.