I Only Know Two Pieces;

I Normally Don't Do Requests. Unless, Of Course, I Have Been Asked To Do So.

Humor Is Something That Thrives Between Man's Aspirations And His Limitations. There Is More Logic In Humor Than In Anything Else. Because, You See, Humor Is Truth.

I Know [canned Music] Makes Chickens Lay More Eggs And Factory Workers Produce More. But How Much More Can They Get Out Of You On An Elevator?

I Do Not Have A Single White Note On My Piano; My Elephant Smoked Too Much.

It (the Double-clarinet In India) Was Primarily Used For Snake Charming, Since The Snake Would Do Almost Anything To Get The Indians To Stop Playing It.