I Read Books That Say

People Are Giving Birth Underwater Now. They Say It's Less Traumatic For The Baby Because It's Under Water. But It's Certainly More Traumatic For The Other People In The Pool.

I'm Pretty Equal Opportunity When It Comes To Issues To Joke About.

Turkeys Know Their Names, Come When You Call, And Are Totally Affectionate. They're Better Than Teenagers.

Men Put All Kinds Of Expectations On You. They Want You To Scream 'you're The Best' While Swearing You've Never Done This With Anyone Before.

Laundry's Easier When You Live Alone. Fifteen Minutes Before A Date, Put 'em On, Dry 'em With A Hair Blower.