I Read That Mtv's Real

I Rented A Car. I Didn't Really Need One, I Just Wanted To Make One Less Available. I Wanted One Businessman On The Bus With No Car.

When It Comes To Racism, You Hear People Say, "i Don't Care If People Are White, Black, Purple Or Green." Hold On, Now, Purple Or Green? Come On Now, You Gotta Draw The Line Somewhere.

Earlier I`ve Done Hatever I Could Get My Hands On To Do For A Living. I Tried A Couple Of Different Things, But Kitchen Work Was The Best For Me, Because I Took To A Nomadic Lifestyle Before I Started Doing Comedy. If You Travel And Get To A Town And Need A Job, Restaurants Are Always There.

If You're Watching A Parade, Don't Follow It. It Never Changes. If The Parade Is Boring, Run In The Opposite Direction. You Will Fast-forward The Parade.

This One Commercial Said, "forget Everything You Know About Slipcovers." So I Did, And It Was A Load Off Of My Mind. Then The Commercial Tried To Sell Slipcovers, But I Didn't Know What They Were!