I Really Don't Think I

I Would Rather Be The Good Aunt Who Never Says Anything Bad And Lets The Parents Discipline The Child.

I Was Doing Stand-up At A Restaurant And There Was A Chalkboard On The Street Out Front. It Said, Soup Of The Day: Cream Of Asparagus. Ellen Degeneres.

Though You Feel You're Not Where You're Suppose To Be, You Shouldn't Worry Because That Next Turn That You Take, It Will Lead You To Where You Wanna Go.

But Seriously, I Think Overall In The Scheme Of Things Winning An Emmy Is Not Important. Let's Get Our Priorities Straight. I Think We All Know What's Really Important In Life - Winning An Oscar.

Some Of The Most Devastating Things That Happen To You Will Teach You The Most