I Really Like 'batman.' Not

I Tried Eating Vegetarian. I Felt Like A Wimp Going Into A Restaurant. "what Do You Want To Eat Sir? Broccoli?" Broccoli's A Side Dish, Folks. Always Was, Always Will Be, Ok! When They Ask Me What I Want, I Say: What Do You Think I Want? This Is America. I Want A Bowl Of Raw Red Meat Right Now.

It's Human Nature For People To Expect People To Be What They See On The Screen.

I'm Not Saying Being A Comedian Is Brain Surgery, But It Is Definitely - It's Like Being A Carpenter. You Learn How To Make Tables And Chairs. You Have To Have The Right Tools, And You Have To Know How To Put The Thing Together, Right?

Sometimes I Park In Handicap Spaces While Handicapped People Make Handicapped Faces.

You Can't Teach Somebody How To Be Funny. You're Either Funny, Or You Ain't.