I Still Believe In The

The Living Room Is A Monument To My Impulsive Spending Habits. I've Got More Than Two Hundred Dvds, Including Cinematic Greats Such As Monkey Bone, Corkey Romano, And A Night At The Roxbury, Leading Me To Believe Not Only Do I Have Awful Taste In Films, But I Also Have A Chris Kattan Fixation. What I Don't Have Is $4000 Earing Intrest In A Money Market Account.

I’m Busy Sorting Through Our New Collection Of Rhinestone Jewelry. Should Anyone Be In The Market For Sparkly Accessories The Size Of A Hubcap, This Is The Place To Get Them. Earlier Today, A Customer Picked Up One Of The Enormous Chandelier-style Offerings And Asked, 'do Those Be Genuine Rhimestones?' I Couldn’t Even Begin To Explain Everything That Was Wrong With Her Sentence, So I Simply Replied, 'yes. They Do Be Genuine.

I'm A Humor Writer, So I Don't Always Present Myself In The Best Light.

Although I Get A Lot Of Specialty Services Like Wraps, Scrubs, And Mustache Removal, My Favorite Is The Simple Manicure/pedicure. They Work On Your Hands And Feet At The Same Time While You Sit In A Vibrating Chair. I Call It The Sorority Girls Version Of A Threesome.

I Can't Believe Anyone Would Voluntarily Run 26 Miles. Sometimes I Sit On The Couch Cross-legged Because I Don't Feel Like Walking To The Bathroom.