I Tell Ya, It's Tough

If Every Man Was As True To His Country As He Was To His Wife, We'd Be In A Lot Of Trouble.

Last Week My Tie Caught On Fire, Some Guy Tried To Put It Out With An Axe.

I Tell Ya, I Knew My Morning Wasn't Going Right. When I Put On My Shirt The Button Fell Off, When I Picked Up My Briefcase, The Handle Fell Off, I Tell Ya, I Was Afraid To Go To The Bathroom.

I Asked My Wife, 'on A Scale Of 1 To 10, How Do You Rate Me As A Lover?' She Said, 'you Know I'm No Good At Fractions.'

I Come Home From Work Early One Day, And I See A Guy Jogging Down The Street In His Underwear. I Ask Him, "why Are You Jogging In Your Underwear?" He Says, "you Came Home From Work Early".