I Think It Would Be

People Often Ask Me How I Make Things Funny. I Don't Make Things Funny.

A Couple Years Ago, The Novelist Russell Banks Told Me He Was Reading The Ancient Greek Historian Herodotus. I Asked Why. He Said, 'because I've Always Wanted To And Am Tired Of Having My Reading Assigned.' I Thought It Was A Marvelous Declaration Of Independence.

To His Surprise, She Leaned Over And Kissed Him On The Forehead, A Kiss So Full Of Affection That It Dispelled The Awkwardness, Even As It Caused Miles' Heart To Plummet, Because All Kisses Are Calibrated, And This One Revealed The Great Chasm Between Affection And Love.

And There Comes A Time In Your Life When You Realize That If You Don't Take The Opportunity To Be Happy, You May Never Get Another Chance Again.

He'd Discovered That His Memories Of That Summer Were Like Bad Movie Montages - Young Lovers Tossing A Frisbee In The Park, Sharing A Melting Ice-cream Cone, Bicycling Along The River, Laughing, Talking, Kissing, A Sappy Score Drowning Out The Dialogue Because The Screenwriter Had No Idea What These Two People Might Say To Each Other.