I Think The Funniest Stuff

The People [in The Usa] Are Not Very Well Informed. They Certainly Don`t Know History. They Certainly Are Not Interested In Foreign Affairs Very Much, Unless It Comes Right To Their Doorstep. They All Learn History Through Wars. They Learn Geography Through Wars.

As A Comedian, I Think We All Look For Those Areas Where The Truth Diverts From What People Are Saying. That's Why Politics Is Such A Rich Area For Us, Because Politicians Make Promises, And They Don't Keep Them, And When We Point Out The Difference, We Get The Laugh.

Between Trying To Impeach Bill Clinton, Florida 2000, And The Recall In California, I'm Beginning To Think That Republicans Will Do Anything To Win An Election-except Get The Most Votes.

If We Go Back To The Beginning, We Shall Find That Ignorance And Fear Created The Gods; That Fancy, Enthusiasm, Or Deceit Adorned Them; That Weakness Worships Them; That Credulity Preserves Them And That Custom, Respect And Tyranny Support Them In Order To Make The Blindness Of Men Serve Their Own Interests. If The Ignorance Of Nature Gave Birth To Gods, The Knowledge Of Nature Is Calculated To Destroy Them.

I Was Watching Ashlee Simpson On Jay's Show Last Night... She Was Really Singing, And I Was Saying, 'bring Back The Lip Synch'... And It Struck Me That Ashlee Simpson Is A Lot Like George Bush - Because She Wouldn't Even Really Be In The Big Leagues If It Wasn't For Family Connections, And She's In Way Over Her Head. And She Doesn't Know What To Do. And She Blamed Her Band.