I Think The Most Un-american

Second Violins Can Play A Concerto Perfectly If They're In Their Own Home And Nobody's There.

In Lake Wobegon, We Don't Forget Mistakes.

Humor Needs To Come In Under Cover Of Darkness, In Disguise, And Surprise People.

I Like To Sing And It's Just Really Fun To Sing, And I Don't Get Too Much. And At My House I'm Not Allowed To Because, You Know, Your Children Can't Stand It When You Sing At Home.

I've Wanted To Be A Writer Since I Was A Boy, Though It Seemed An Unlikely Outcome Since I Showed No Real Talent. But I Persevered And Eventually Found My Own Row To Hoe. Ignorance Of Other Writers' Work Keeps Me From Discouragement And I Am Less Well-read Than The Average Bus Driver.