I Used To Be A

The Reason I Hate Publicists Is Because I Think If We Got Rid Of Them Everything Would Be On Equal Footing.

I Know Everything Because I Know Nothing.

I Think Comedy Has Evolved Like Every Art Form, And People Probably Do Less Standing Around And Telling Jokes, And More Things That Have To Do With Reality.

I've Never Not Finished A Masturbatory Session Or A Pizza. Those Are The Two Things I've Never Left Behind.

You Should Feel Good About Yourself Because Of Your Accomplishments. Not Because Somebody Yelled At You To Feel Good About Yourself.