I Was Going To Get

You Know, I Think Whatever A Comic Talks About Onstage Is All They Talk About Offstage.

I Still Have Highs And Lows, Maybe I Don't Cry Salty Tears As Much.

The Good News Is Hopeful Doesn't Mean Dumb. The Bad News Is Cynical Doesn't Mean Smart.

Dear America, When You Tell Gay Americans That They Can't Serve Their Country Openly Or Marry The Person That They Love, You're Telling That To Kids Too. So Don't Be F**king Shocked And Wonder Where All These Bullies Are Coming From That Are Torturing Young Kids And Driving Them To Kill Themselves Because They're Different; They Learned It From Watching You.

You Have To Take The Chance To Bomb And Disappoint Audiences.