I Was In The Band

It Doesn't Matter How Smart You Are; To Audition For 'jeopardy,' You Just Have To Luck Out And Know What They're Asking You That Day.

Listen, You Don't Know Any Better So I'll Just Tell You. You Can't Try To Save Money By Not Having The Right Beer. You Know, You Can Skip Having Medical Insurance, You Can Buy Everything You Own At A Swap Meet But The Right Beer Is What Makes Living Like This Possible.

The Best Thing About Las Vegas Is That No One Pretends To Be Responsible For Your Behavior Like They Do In The Rest Of The Country. There's No Meddling Self-righteous Liberals Or Right-wing Christian Demagogues Telling You That You Can't Do Something Fun With Your Own Time And Money. If You Can Afford It, It's Yours.

Who Ever Thought That The World-famous Captain Obvious Was Really Mild-mannered Colin Mochrie?

If Frogs Could Fly... Well We'd Still Be In This Mess, But Wouldn't It Be Neat?