I Was Not The Popular

You Know What I Learned About Hawaiians? They're Just Blown Up Mexicans!

People Think If You Have Money, It'll Fix The Problems, But It Creates Different Ones.

Hanging Out With Comics, All They Did Was Make Fun Of Me.

I Bought A Hummer Before I Bought A House, And Then I Bought A House. Every Year, Everything Doubled. The Work Was Doubling. The Money Was Doubling. The Popularity Was Doubling.

That's One Thing About My Shows. I Tell People, I'm Not A Comedian, I'm Just A Really Funny Reporter. I Put My Life Out There And Make It Entertaining. By Putting It Out There, It Helps Me To Deal With It, You Know, So I Don't Snap And So I Don't Go Off The Handle When I Get Home.