I Was Taught To Be

I Never Wanted A Guardian Angel. I Didn't Ask For One. One Was Assigned To Me.

I Am Rich From The Bequests Other Gifted People Have Seen Fit To Leave To Me.

Everything Edible Is Fried In Texas! Or It Is Buried In The Ground To Cook Before It Is Eaten. ... Texas Food Should Be Forbidden! 'the Steaks At Night Are Big And Bright, Deep In The Heart Of Texas!' And They Are Always Afloat In Grease. Next Morning You Are Served A Smaller Steak, Which Serves As A Platform For Two Fried Eggs ... All Of This Afloat In The Same Grease! 'chicken, You Say? You Bet! Comin' Up!' Same Grease! They Are Right. Comin' Up! For Hours Afterwards. I Couldn't Believe The Crust Of An Apple Pie! Same Grease!

With Two Leftover Husbands To Account For, My Wicked Soul Has Just About Shriveled And Died

I've Always Had Bronchitis. I've Been Administered The Sacrament Of Death Three Times For It