I Went To A Restaurant

I Once Saw A Forklift Lift A Crate Of Forks. And It Was Way To Literal For Me.

Here's A Thought For Sweat Shop Owners: Air Conditioning. Problem Solved.

When You're Doing A Show On Stage, And They Show You A Red Light, That Means You Have 5 Minutes Left. At Some Clubs, They Hold A Candle Up In The Back. That's The Worst Method. You're Up Here, And Then You See A Floating Candle. "oh, No! This Place Is Haunted!" I Can't Be Funny When I'm Frightened.

I Got An Ant Farm; Them Fellas Didn't Grow Sh*t.

If You Have To Release Bad News To The Public, It Would Help If You Are Not Ugly.