I Will Not Eat Oysters.

My Grandfather Had A Wonderful Funeral... On The Buffet Table There Was A Replica Of The Deceased In Potato Salad.

In California, They Don't Throw Their Garbage Away - They Make It Into Tv Shows.

I Am An Only Child. I Have One Sister.

I Don't Believe In An Afterlife, But I'm Taking An Extra Pair Of Underwear Just In Case.

I Don't Mind Dying... As Long As I Don't Have To Be There When It Happens.