I Wish My Name Started

The Difference Between A Child's Toy And An Adult Toy Is: Location, Location, Location.

Sometimes I Feel Like I'm Making A Connection With A Stranger, But Then It Turns Out I'm Not. Like, I Was In A Mall, And I Saw This Lady Hitting Her Kid. So I Went Up To Her, And I Was Like, "yeah, Get Him!" She Got All Mad At Me. I Was Like, "i'm On Your Side Here."

Saying, 'i'm Sorry' Is The Same As Saying, 'i Apologize.' Except At A Funeral.

Skeet Shooting Is Probably More Satisfying If You Really Hate Skeets.

Employee Of The Month Is A Good Example Of How Somebody Can Be Both A Winner And A Loser At The Same Time.