I Won't Eat In A

When I Was In The Hospital They Gave Me Apple Juice Every Morning, Even After I Told Them I Didn't Like It. I Had To Get Even. One Morning, I Poured The Apple Juice Into The Specimen Tube. The Nurse Held It Up And Said, 'it's A Little Cloudy.' I Took The Tube From Her And Said, 'let Me Run It Through Again,' And Drank It. The Nurse Fainted.

When I Read Dickens For The First Time, I Thought He Was Jewish, Because He Wrote About Oppression And Bigotry, All The Things That My Father Talked About.

There's Nobody To Believe In Anymore, Nobody To Trust.

I Think One Of The Big Things About Comedy Is The Ability For The Audience To Identify.

We Get The Worrywart, The Hypochondriac, The Money-grubbing Miser, The Intractable Negotiator... Some Would Say Certain Of These Refer To The Stereotypical, Or 'stage' Jew. But Objectively Speaking, The Only Crime In Humor Is An Unfunny Joke.